Why do I become enraged? Why is happiness so far out of reach? Why can't I at least love myself? Why can't I appreciate my existence? Why am I tormented? Why do I ruin everything I love? Why does it feel foreign to be kind? Why do I avoid people or push them away? Where has all my energy gone? Where did joy escape to? Where can I find some strength? Where did all the time go? When is the last time I laughed? When will I stop faking contentment? When can I rest from this painful emptiness? When will I figure it out? How can I be so rude? How do others see me? How do I fix myself? How do I find refuge? I'm graceless. I'm unlovable. I'm repulsive. I'm fake. How I wish someone would just... Hold my face and assure me I am none of those things. I only want to be forgiven and understood. Perhaps I am too far gone to save. What has gone so terribly wrong in me That I'm uncapable Of steering my ship Through the changing tides? Why do I wreck it instead And blam...
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