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Checked Out


Man (dinging the bell at the counter): Hey!
Man keeps ringing bell

Clerk (comes out of back room with groggy eyes):  How may I help you, sir?

Man:  The mattress is too soft and the water isn’t hot enough!  And, the TV keeps reading “no signal”.

Clerk:  I’m sorry for the inconvenience sir.  I can have an attendant come flip the mattress.  There isn’t much I can do about the water; and the blizzard outside is corrupting the reception.  We strive to make your stay as comfortable as possible.

Man:  Well, I find no comfort.  I’m checking out!  I am gonna find a better place.

Clerk:  I’m sorry you feel that way, sir...

Man drops key at the counter taking his big black suitcase with him as he stomps out the door.  He fades off into the great white world as a specter evaporating into an abyss.

3 hours pass..

Man (dinging the ball at the counter):  ‘scuse me!

Clerk (comes out of back room with groggy eyes):  You again?

Man (dejected):  Yes...

Clerk:  Where’s your suitcase?

Man:  Stolen...

Clerk:  What can I do for you?

Man:  I’m sorry for how I acted.  I’ve been  all over town out in that weather looking for another place..

Clerk:  Did you go to “Intellectual Inn” out west?

Man:  Yes but they keep formulating reasons why I didn’t belong there.

Clerk:  How bout “Artist’s End” out east?

Man:  Yes but that’s a hostel and just stepping in there made me claustrophobic.  Thats where my luggage was stolen along with my wallet.  Community kitchen... Community showers...after some thought, I decided that this was the best place to be.

Clerk:  After you checked out, the storm brought in other people.  Did you not see the “no vacancy” sign in the parking lot?  And what would you pay with?

Man:  I understand but it’s so cold out there...And yes, I have nothing of value.  I would be ever so grateful if I could just crash out on  that couch over there.

Clerk:  Hmm...

Man:  Please, sir.  I’ll do anything to make up for it.

Clerk:  I’ll tell you what.  I have a bunk bed  in the other room.  My son likes to sleep up top.  I have a pair of clean clothes about your size.  If you can get up and help my wife with breakfast in the morning, I’ll let you take that bottom bunk.

Man:  I can definitely do that!  Thank you so much!


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